It’s been very hard to pick up this pen, so to speak. We have officially booked out tickets to go overseas and see my husbands family. Flying is a trigger. The panic attacks started in April, we booked the tickets last week. We don’t fly till June. I say this for reference…..three months worth of waking up in panic, working all day in panic, going to bed in panic. Sighhhhhhhh
What’s going to be different this time?
Me. Cause me is all I got. And, because I am tired of this defining me. From what I’ve read, researched, and understand – my brain is wired for this – and I can rewire it. After several calls to Electricians who were very confused I started a new routine. Fight panic with positivity. Fight future freak out with positive present-ness.
I don’t want a Band-Aid, I want a permanent change. Re-wiring. My brain goes to panic because those are the circuits that were hard wired when I was young. It’s time to get rid of the knob and tube and Upgrade! And that is up to me. My nightly journal, I’m back to making sure that I write 5 things that I am grateful for today and the people who need a prayer. When I’m ready to sleep I turn on a nightly meditation of healing and affirmation. Most important, when my monkey brain tries to go to the airport and board the plane and then have a panic attack that would bring down every TSA agent there … I stop. I smile, think of my kids, breathe deep, and remind myself that I have made this trip 10 times.
Here’s hoping Anxietyoholic friends, that this is exactly what I’ve been reading, researching, and learning about for years. Rewiring those circuits. No more heading to Panic Town it’s time to head to Positiveville. I’ll keep you updated.
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